Nothing prepared me for the passion and expansion I would experience falling in love with a woman. Not once did I have a hint that I could be anything other than a heterosexual female. But apparently magic happens when you open your heart and listen closely to your gut despite all the world telling you that you are wrong. I look around each day and see so many challenging relationships built on rules that don’t work for most and realize that even though it took me 64 years the fullness of my love for this woman is incomparable to anything I have ever experienced. I feel held and free all at once. And while I’ll never preach stepping outside of your sexuality as some sort of leap to happiness, I will ask that we not shut down our desires when they come from our heart and gut as well as outside our comfort zone.
Meet Lee. 44. Beautiful. Strong. Gentle. Pure. Honest. Incredibly intelligent and brilliant at anything she does. She’s groks me. And I her. It’s just so damn easy. I mean where is the work? Don’t we all assume we have to work at our relationships? Nothing with Lee feels like work. Including work! Which we do together at Hilliard Studio Method where I’m the owner and she is the manager and director of training. I know, I know. HR nightmare, massive age gap and all that. Just read the comments on any of my articles (especially Huff) written about our relationship which I realize I could have written myself a few years back. Trust me; I know it’s all so insane on paper, but in real life going on six years now we work. Absolutely and in every way.
“When Every Night is Girls Night and the Sex is always Great.” might be the title of my next book, or so I like to say just to see her puritanical shutters fly up! But it’s true. She is my best friend. And every day with her is my best day, good or bad. That’s what I hope for you and that’s one of the reasons I’m writing this blog. I truly believe that real, uncompromising love is available to all of us if we keep our eyes and hearts wide open.
While I’m painting this rosy picture of our relationship it’s important to note that the other relationships in both of our lives have suffered greatly, which initially led me to question my sanity and deny my love for Lee many months before I could fully commit. I’ll explore that in later posts but for now I’ll say this: Life is not static, and those of us who challenge our families and friends to find acceptance and love despite their difficulty in understanding our seemingly radical life change are truly to be commended. And those who cannot are truly forgiven and will always be welcome at our table.
Expansion rarely happens in a safe zone.