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  • Writer's pictureLiz Hilliard

Lean Into Fear

Updated: May 18

I was recently asked to share how I knew that ending my marriage 6 years ago was the right thing to do. Ending a marriage is an excruciating decision even in the best of circumstances and there’s really no right or wrong to it. Death do us part can literally in some circumstances become the death of you. Or the slow eating away of your soul. 

My marriage of 37 years was rich and rewarding, and more than not filled with love and respect for my partner. But we had reached a point of becoming habitual and stagnant replacing our once beautiful love story with the pain and hurt that life sometimes delivers so harshly. We lost our footing together only to find ourselves lost, lonely and finally apart. 

While the decision to end my marriage was a correct one, and I stand by it 6 years later, it was also the most terrifyingly vulnerable time of my life where everything felt foreign, unknown, and quite literally hostile.  

As it turns out finding the courage to be vulnerable and accept the warts with the beauty that only truth can reveal was exactly where I found my power. Seeing clearly and digging deeply into myself took courage and stamina. There’s no getting around it. If you want to be of service to your family, your friends, and your community you must first be of service to yourself. Yes, be selfish. This is against everything society expects from a woman and she will need all her strength to stay the course.  I equate my physical workout at Hilliard Studio Method to the tenacity of building myself emotionally stronger each time I move through pain. Pain is not the enemy, but holding onto the status quo resisting change is, and will get you nowhere except deeper into despair.

Old thought patterns and habits needed to change for me before I could step into my next best life which I have found with Lee. I’ve learned through the process of acceptance and trying my best to live truthfully and seeking love in the most unexpected places that each time pain comes I try very hard to embrace it. And to know simply and clearly that I am in that place that needs to be healed and will be my next gateway to enlightenment and joy.

Lean into your fear  and your vulnerability, it's where you'll find your power.

Journal your feelings even if it's just a couple of words or lines a day, or as often as you can without judgement. Resist the urge to  edit your thoughts. The power is in the mess. It must be acknowledged before you can change or eliminate it.

Make a list of the things and people that bring you joy. And rate them on a 1-10 scale.

Make a list of the things and people that zap your energy. Again 1-10 scale

 Begin spending less of your energy on those that fall below a 6 and focus your energy on the higher numbers which will bring the creative energy you crave to change your life for the best.

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